反抗、妥協

公主的這篇文章講得實在太好了。


其實我覺得最尷尬的關係，莫過於每次都要裝熟的親戚們。特別是每年家族祭典的時候，爸爸(我在猜其實我媽也很討厭這種 situation)都會硬要我們認識些什麼誰誰誰的姊姐妹妹要叫阿姨姑姑伯母堂妹等等的；明明就是一年或是數年才會見個一兩次的人，碰面也講不到兩句話，卻硬要記起這個人是誰誰誰，怎麼可能？就像我爸講了n遍也記不住 Outlook 要怎麼設定 SMTP/POP3 server一樣。今年我弟要結婚了，我硬去搶先說我要幫他拍婚禮，也就是因為一般人並不會去騷擾攝影師，就可以免去很多被問問題林北又不爽回答的狀況。拍完就可以趕快假借要弄照片的名義溜之大吉。
看到公主後面寫的因為妥協，所以『在乎的事情越來越少，人生就是這樣』，突然想起的是 The Weatherman 裡面那段: "I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weather man." 當時只覺得這段話真是充滿了一種無奈的氣息，現在看來，或許就是因為有了太多的妥協，對事業、對婚姻、對親子關係，更重要的是，對自己妥協了。
還是公主講得好：妥協了就是慢慢枯死，必死的；不妥協，大概是戰死或被殺死，但是也有活下來的機會。