這篇真的是太好笑了 - When you've been in Taiwan too long.

: 1. You can order the entire McDonald's menu in Chinese.

你可以用中文點麥當勞的任何餐

: 2. You decide it makes more sense to drive a motorcycle instead of a car.

你決定騎機車比開車更理智

: 3. More than one garment has been ruined by betel-nut spit.

超過一件衣服被檳榔渣弄髒

: 4. More than one garment has been ruined by salty sweat stains.

超過一件衣服被含鹽量高的汗水弄髒

(salty sweat...噁…..@@)

: 5. More than one garment has been ruined by food grease.

超過一件衣服被食物油漬弄髒

: 6. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.

有人不盯著你看你會覺得奇怪

: 7. You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.

經過人行道時會記得看兩邊

(不是馬路喔 XD)

: 8. Hsiaohsing Wine tastes good.

紹興酒很好喝

: 9. You turn left from the right lane, no matter how many lanes there are.

不管有幾個車道，都會從右車道左轉

: 10. 20 degrees feels cold.

20度就覺得冷了

: 11. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.

你看到一台機車載三個人而想著還可以再擠上兩個

(五貼?!)

: 12. "Squid" sounds better than "steak".

「花枝」聽起來比「牛排」好吃

: 13. You don't notice the smell.

你開始不會在意四周的味道

(久而不聞其臭?!)

: 14. There are more things strapped to your motorcycle than you'd ever put in a

機車上綁著的東西比放進置物箱裡的還多

(這條原文大概後面漏了)

: 15. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.

看到一隻狗會讓你覺得餓

(香肉?!)

: 16. You stop conjugating verbs.

開始不做動詞變化了

(這個好讚XD)

: 17. You speak fluent Chinglish.

你可以流利的說中文混雜英文

: 18. You drive on the shoulder to pass traffic.

碰到塞車會搶路肩

(喂= =)

: 19. The main reason you stop at a 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.

進小七的主要理由是想買茶葉蛋

: 20. You expect a Chinese New Year's bonus.

希望過中國年會加薪

(這大概在諷刺咱們過兩個年吧XD)

: 21. Firecrackers and garbage trucks don't wake you up.

爆竹和垃圾車叫不醒你

: 22. You spend two hours and a fortune to eat Western food.

你會花兩小時和一大筆錢吃西餐

(........)

: 23. You can distinguish aboriginal languages.

你可以分辨多個原住民語

: 24. Your family stops asking you when you'll be coming back.

你的家人不再問你甚麼時候要回去了

: 25. You consider taxi drivers "good drivers".

你覺得計程車駕駛是「好駕駛」

: 26. You don't think beer is expensive.

你不覺得啤酒很貴

(是在說台啤嗎= =)

: 27. You stop and look both ways before driving through a red light.

你會在紅燈前停下來，看看兩邊，然後開過去

(這檔子事好像不少人天天都在做...)

: 28. You don't stop or look both ways before driving through a red light.

你不會在紅燈前停下來看看兩邊就開過去了

(這比上一條更....)

: 29. "A", "an" and "the" aren't necessary parts of speech.

說話時不會去用 "a" 或 "the" 這種定冠詞

: 30. You know when the next "big bai-bai" is.

你知道下一次的「大拜拜」是什麼時候

: 31. Smoking is one of the dinner courses.

抽煙是晚餐主菜之一

: 32. You don't mind when your date picks her/his nose in public.

你不介意約會對象在公開場合挖鼻孔

: 33. You wear out your horn before your brakes.

你車上的喇叭比煞車先壞了

: 34. You know which place has the best noodles & duck meat at 3:00 a.m.

你知道半夜三點哪裡可以有好吃的麵和鴨肉

: 35. You (male) wear white socks with suits and black socks with tennis shorts. You (female) wear socks with pantyhose in summer. You (any gender) wear polyester and paisley.

你(男生)把白襪配套裝，而把黑襪配網球短褲；

妳(女生)把襪子配上褲襪來穿；

你(任何性別)穿Polo衫或花襯衫。 (台客?!)

在你剛來時認識你的人已經完全認不出你了

: 37. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.

你對你的外國朋友說中文

: 38. You own a karaoke machine.

你有一台卡拉OK伴唱機

: 39. You offer directions to locals.

你會幫當地人指路

(比當地人還熟是吧= =)

: 40. You leave the plastic on new furniture and appliances.

新傢俱和新家電上的塑膠你不會拆掉

: 41. Forks and knives feel awkward.

叉子和刀子感覺很奇怪

: 42. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.

兩地之間最短的距離包括鑽過一條巷子

: 43. You wear blue rubber flip-flops to work.

你穿藍色橡膠夾腳拖上班

(這好像更超過了...)

: 44. Your deodorant stick has cobwebs on it.

你的止汗除臭劑已經長蜘蛛網了



(台灣真的沒有人用嗎?)

: 45. Foreigners smell funny.

外國人聞起來怪怪的

: 46. You check that the karaoke machine is working before boarding a wild chicken bus.

在上野雞車之前會先檢查卡拉OK是不是好的

(注意是野雞車...)

: 47. Mando- pop remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.

翻唱的外國歌比原來的好聽

: 48. You own a Mando-pop CD.

你有中文流行音樂CD

: 49. You've been to a Mando-pop concert.

你去過中文流行音樂的演唱會

: 50. You know the lyrics to Mando-pop songs and/or have sung them in KTV.

你知道中文流行歌的歌詞，甚至有可能在KTV裡唱過

: 51. You point out foreigners and stare at them.

你指著外國人並且盯著他們看

(這比6.還過份...)

: 52. You shop for clothes at night markets and the clothes fits.

你會在夜市買衣服，而衣服都很合穿

: 53. You own at least one mosquito tennis racquet.

你至少有一個蚊子網球拍 THIS IS TOO AWESOME

(這個真是太讚了XD )

: 54. The majority of foreigners who have been in Taiwan longer than you have are buried here.

大部份比你在台灣待得長一點的外國人都已經埋在這裡了

: 55. You find yourself saying, "Oh geez, not ANOTHER Year of the Rat."

你發現你會說「喔天哪，怎麼又是鼠年了」

: 56. You know which turn signal should be on when driving the wrong way down a one-way street.

當你逆向進入單行道時你知道該看哪個紅綠燈

: 57. You get homesick for Chinese food when you are away from Taiwan.

你離開台灣時會對中國食物感到極度想念

(中國食物好吃啊……T一T)

: 58. You can name two dozen different types of night market snacks.

你可以叫出超過兩打的不同夜市點心

: 59. You pray at temples for a winning lottery number.

為了中樂透會去廟裡拜拜

: 60. At least a part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried.

至少一部份的聖節晚餐是用炒的

: 61. Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you've been here.

其他外國人聽到你在這裡多久了會給你一個奇怪的臉色

: 62. You can't think of any good reason to leave Taiwan.

你想不到任何理由離開台灣

: 63. People no longer come up to you on the street and want to be your friend.

人們不再因為想和你成為朋友而在接近你



(已經太台化了嗎? XD)

: 64. You're impressed by the safety of Taiwan scaffolding.

你被台灣的鷹架穩定度感到印象深刻

(好像隨時都會倒下來的樣子是吧XD)

: 65. The last few vacations you've had have been around Taiwan on company outings.

最近幾個假期你都是和公司一起出去台灣各地玩

: 66. Your idea of a barbeque is squatting by the side of a highway.

你覺得BBQ就是在高速公路旁邊蹲下來

: 67. You prefer squatting to sitting (including toilets).

你比較喜歡蹲坐甚於坐著(即使在馬桶上也是)

: 68. You've had a dozen different Taiwan email addresses.

你有超過一打的台灣email 帳號

: 69. You've had several local cell phone numbers.

你有很多個手機號碼

: 70. Locals are surprised to find out you can't vote in the upcoming election.

當地人很驚訝你怎麼沒有投票權

: 71. Your pets are bilingual.

你的寵物聽得懂雙語(你原來的語言和中文)

: 72. Pizza just doesn't taste right unless there's corn on it.

披薩在沒有玉米時吃起來就是不對勁

: 68. You prefer to park on the sidewalk.

你偏好在人行道上停車

: 69. Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles.

許多有意義的對話是在門口或是在緩慢行進中的機車上

: 70. Sometimes the sight of yourself in the mirror shocks you.

有時候看到鏡子中的你會嚇一跳

(看到阿豆仔?!)

: 71. You think your nose is big.

你覺得你的鼻子大了點

: 72. You speak Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent.

你說的中文有台灣腔

: 73. You take "ho" onto the end of your sentences.

句子結束都會加上「齁」

(是這樣子齁?)

: 74. You say "hei" instead of yes.

你會用「ㄏㄟ」當做「是」的回答。

(台語啦)

: 75. You can haggle with the best of them.

你能和強者老闆殺價

: 76. You don't want to sit near the foreigners on the bus or in the restaurant.

在餐廳或在公車上你不會想和外國人坐在一起

: 77. Your English has gone to hell.

你的英文變得很破

: 78. Foreign women look big and fat; foreign men look the same, but also hairy.

外國女人看起來肥肥胖胖的；外國男人看起來差不多，但毛多了些

: 79. In your home country, you find yourself accidentally speaking Chinese (answer the phone with "wei?")

在你的家鄉會不自覺的使用中文(例如接電話時「喂？」)

: 80. You can differentiate different types of tea, even during a hot tea blowjob.

你可以分出各種茶的味道，即使這個「茶」是你在口Ｘ時的用來助興的

: 81. You can tell taxi drivers the exact route to take...anywhere.

你可以告訴計程車司機到任何地方的詳細路程

: 82. You know where to buy *anything*.

你知道哪裡買得到什麼東西

: 83. Wearing shoes in a house makes you really uncomfortable.

在房子裡穿鞋會感覺怪怪的

: 84. You shower in the evening.

你總在傍晚沖澡

: 85. The smell of chou dofu makes your mouth water.

臭豆腐讓你垂涎三尺

: 86. You wait until just before Chinese New Year to "pick up" new furniture.

你總趁除夕之前去撿人家清出來還八成新的傢俱

(「八成新」是我自己加的啦)

: 87. You walk into restaurants and they know what you want before you order.

你進餐廳點餐前店員就知道你要什麼了

(變成常客了@@)

: 88. You only know what's popular back home from the dress and speech of new foreign Chinese students.

你要根據那些去國外留學的台灣學生的穿著講話才能了解家鄉那裡現在流行什麼

: 89. You get all mushy inside when you think about Chinese New Year.

過中國年時你會覺得感傷

(每逢佳節倍思親?! 還是感傷自己又老了一歲?!)

: 90. The best way of spending your free time is sleeping.

最好的殺時間方式是睡覺

: 91. You deflect compliments in the presence of foreign friends.

你開始會在外國朋友面前謙虛

: 92. You fight to pay the bill.

你爭著付帳

: 93. You don't open gifts until you get home.

你都到回家才拆禮物

(西方國家比較偏好當場拆禮物)

: 94. You have fond memories of a particular spot in Taiwan...that no longer exists.

你有個台灣某處景點的美好回憶...可是那地方已經不見了

(THIS ONE IS AWESOME TOO)

: 95. Taiwan beer is your beer of choice and you prefer it with ice.

台啤是你的啤酒之選，而且你會加些冰塊

: 96. You don't make important decisions without consulting the temple astrologer.

做重大決策時總是會參考廟裡的算命仙的說法

: 97. You can tell what someone wants from what they don't say.

即使他們不說，你還是能知道他們想要什麼

(是指中國人太ㄍ一ㄥ嗎= =)

: 98. ICRT is a "good" radio station.

ICRT是個「好」電台

: 99. Some of your biggest musical influences have been the Carpenters and Air Supply CDs.

影響你最多的音樂包含木匠兄妹及空中補給樂團的CD

: 100. You can tell what is inside a Chinese/Taiwanese cookie without biting into it.

你能在還沒咬中國餅之前就知道裡面是什麼餡

: 101. You recognize old girlfriends.

走在街上會認出前女友

: 102. You count yourself fortunate to have stepped in dog shit.

踩到狗屎會覺得很幸運

(快去買樂透!會中頭獎喔XD)

: 103. You know the difference between a duvet, duna, and comforter.

你分得出床單和床墊

(duna找不出是什麼意思...)

: 104. Your mom has a funny accent.

你覺得你媽有奇怪的口音

: 105. You look at traffic accidents with indifference.

看到車禍你完全沒有特別感覺

: 106. You think Taiwan game shows are fucking hilarious.

你覺得台灣的綜藝節目真是他○的有趣

: 107. You can tell the political orientations of local cable news stations from the way they report the news.

你可以藉由有線新聞台播報新聞的方式分出他們偏藍還偏綠

: 108. You think of Tianmu as a place where foreigners live.

你覺得天母是外國人住的地方

: 109. You own a little, yappy dog and carry it around with you.

你養一隻小狗，而且帶著牠到處跑

: 110. You own a shirt with a pig on it.

你有一件上面畫了一隻豬的襯衫

: 111. You own a buxiban.

你開了一間補習班

(這字我唸了三遍才認出來...)

: 112. You eat ji pi gu because your complexion isn't what it used to be.

你會因為今天氣色不好而吃雞屁股

: 113. You just can't get that Kenny G song out of your head.

你就是不能把Kenny G的歌趕出腦子裡

: 114. You can't remember not having athlete's foot.

你不記得沒有香港腳的時候了

: 115. You get a post-dated check two months after completing a job and still thank your employer.

你收到一張晚了兩個月寄來的工作薪水支票而仍然感謝你的老闆

(是說晚了兩個月總算還是有到是吧= =)

: 116. You're terrified that the chicken head will point at you during the annual "wei ya".

年終尾牙時你害怕雞頭指向你

: 117. You are in a car with six people and argue with the seventh to hurry up and get in.

你在一台已經載了六個人的轎車裡還要第七個人進去

: 118. NT$1000 is far less than the equivalent in your home currency.

新台幣一千元比對應的你家鄉的貨幣還不值錢

: 119. Your kids speak better Chinese than you do.

你的小孩比你會說中文

(等等..居然已經有小孩了?!)

: 120. Steak just doesn't taste right without an egg, noodles, and tomato sauce.

牛排不配蛋、麵和蕃茄醬就會怪怪的

(我家牛排XD)

: 121. When you're thirsty, you go to 7-11 for a box of tea.

你渴的時候會去小七買一箱茶

: 122. Someone wishes you a Happy Easter and you remember it's easter...

有人向你祝復活節快樂時你才想起來「啊，今天好像是復活節」

: 123. You can keep up with the plot lines of local soap operas.

你很容易跟上八點檔連續劇的劇情

: 124. You see Taiwanese who resemble your foreign friends and relatives back home.

你常看到像你的朋友或家鄉親戚的台灣人

: 125. You've become unconscious of profuse sweating.

大量流汗對你已經沒感覺了

: 126. You no longer sweat.

你已經不會流汗了

(是已經適應環境了是吧= =)

: 127. You know where to buy clothes that fit you.

你知道上哪裡買合穿的衣服

: 128. You can cook Chinese.

你會煮中國菜

: 129. You know police and tax officials by name.

你知道警察和稅務人員的名字

(而不是姓是嗎...)

: 130. You know the visa system better than people in the visa offices.

你比簽證處的人更了解簽證系統

: 131. You cannot say the number six without an accompanying hand gesture.

你不會不比出手勢而說出6這個數字

(各位會不會? XD)

: 132. You'd take boiled peanuts over dry-roasted any day.

你會吃煮過的花生而不是乾焙的花生

: 133. The only TV shows you know about from home are those in syndication in Taiwan.

你所知的家鄉那邊的節目只有那些在台灣也有播的

: 134. Money from home looks and feels like "Monopoly" money.

家鄉的紙幣看來很像大富翁裡的假錢

: 135. You feel embarrassed for *other* foreigners.

你為其他外國人而感到不好意思

: 136. You add syllables to English words when speaking Chinese (eg test-uh)

你說中文時會在英文字上加音節(例如tes-特)

: 137. You have Chinese input software on your computer.

你的電腦上有中文輸入法

: 138. You can't live without dried squid-flavored strips.

沒有魷魚絲可吃你會受不了

: 139. You know the names of Taiwan actors, actresses, singers, politicians, and broadcasters.

你知道台灣演員、歌手、政治人物及主播的名字

: 140. The rate at which you speak English has slowed considerably, and you use simple words.

你說英文的速度變慢了，而且變得只用簡單的字

: 141. Writing an email in English is like doing your tax.

寫英文信像是在報稅般困難

: 142. You start your day with soybean milk and oil sticks.

你早餐會吃油條&喝豆漿

: 143. You start the day in the park exercising with people your age.

你每天早上和年紀與你差不多的人在公園慢跑

: 144. You have accumulated more stuff than you could possibly take home with you.

你堆了比你能帶回去的更多的東西

: 145. Your savings are in a "hui".

你的存款全部拿去跟會了

(互助會啦)

: 146. You've started a "hui".

你自己也開過一個互助會

(這好像就...)

: 147. Internal organs of animals are yummy.

動物的內臟很好吃

: 148. You casually pick out and discard cockroach parts in your "biandang".

你小心的挑出並丟掉那些在你的便當裡的部份小強

你從計程車司機那裡知道怎麼買股票最好

: 150. "Meibanfa" or "bukenung" are perfectly acceptable answers to your inquiries at government offices.

公家機關對你的需求的回答是「沒辦法」或「不可能」是非常可以接受的

: 151. You celebrate your birthday with taro, red bean, and lard.

你用芋頭、紅頭和豬油慶祝生日

你和你的公公婆婆假日會打麻將打到凌晨四點

: 153. You look forward to typhoons because it you might get a day off work.

你很期待颱風，因為會有颱風假可以放

(喂)

: 154. After a couple of beers you jones for a betelnut.

幾杯啤酒下肚後你會很想嚼上幾個檳榔

你不再在意你國語中的口音

: 156. You've taught another foreigner something in Chinese.

你用中文教其他外國人東西

: 157. You've learned something in Chinese from another foreigner.

你也從另一個外國人那裡學到什麼東西的中文

: 158. You get a feng shui expert to go apartment hunting with you.

挑房子時會請一個風水師

: 159. You can tell the difference between a fresh and a stale betelnut.

你分得出新鮮和壞掉的檳榔

(這太過份了喔= =)

: 160. Your friends have gone home, gotten advanced degrees, and returned to Taiwan.

你的朋友們回國深造，得了更好的學歷後又回來台灣

: 161. When someone back home asks you how things are going in "Thailand," you are offended but don't say anything.

當家鄉裡某人問你在「泰國」如何時，你感到被羞辱了而不發一語

: 162. You dream in Chinese.

你的夢裡說中文

: 163. You know just enough Taiwanese to embarrass someone who's talking about you.

你知道的台灣話剛好夠使某個在談論你的人感到尷尬

: 164. You have saved money.

你存了些錢

: 165. When driving back home, people give you the finger.

當你在家鄉開車時，人們會向你比中指

: 166. When you've been on vacation, you're happy to return.

當你出去渡假時，你在回去時最高興

: 167. Your police friends feel safe telling you about recent bribes they've taken.

你的警察朋友會放心告訴你最近收了誰的錢

: 168. You are a connoisseur of fine brothels.

你是特種行業的行家

: 169. You wish desperately you could vote in local elections.

你很希望自己能有投票權

: 170. Your kid is half Chinese, I mean, Taiwanese.

你的孩子是中國混血，呃，應該說，台灣混血

: 171. You haven't had a dent on your motor vehicle in years.

你的車上好幾年沒有凹痕了

: 172. Dry weather irritates your skin.

乾的天氣使你的皮膚感到不舒服

: 173. You realize that *everyone* is available.

你發現到其實每個人都很有空

: 174. You've used up quite a few health insurance cards.

你的健保卡已經用掉好幾張了

(這是指以前的紙卡)

: 175. You run into former students in bars.

你在酒吧裡撞見你以前的學生

: 176. You run into former students in bed.

你在床上撞見你以前的學生(!!)

: 177. Your porn collection is over 90% Asian.

你收集的"清涼美女圖"超過九成是亞洲人

(然後其中超過一半是日本人對吧XD)

: 178. You feel like a kid in a candy store at Costco.

在好市多裡的糖果店裡你覺得你像個小孩般

(不知道要挑哪一個XD)

: 179. You've called gangster friends to help you settle a dispute.

爭吵時你會去叫幾個「幫手」來

: 180. The credit card you gave your wife is your "get out of jail free card"

你給你太太的信用卡是你的「放出監獄自由卡」

: 181. You learn more about the news from what it doesn't say.

你從新聞中總聽得出言外之意

: 182. You piss off locals with running commentary on the local news.

你對這些新聞嗤之以鼻的評語激怒了當地的人

: 183. You know someone who's died here.

你認識在這附近死掉的人

: 184. You drink coffee in the morning and tea at night.

你在白天喝咖啡，晚上喝茶

: 185. You could rebuild your entire life in a day.

你能在一天內重建你的一生

(應該解釋成天天千篇一律的生活這種意思)

: 186. You had hair when you first got here.

你剛來這裡的時候是有頭髮的

: 187. New arrivals mistake your sarcasm for bitterness.

剛來這裡的人會把你的諷刺當成訴苦

: 188. You have a beer taste on a champagne budget.

你喝啤酒但你的資額是買香檳的額度

(我的天啊...)

: 189. You just don't understand what all those new young Mandarin students are all about.

你就是搞不懂時下這些年輕人

: 190. You've consulted a lawyer.

你會向律師求助

: 191. You *are* a lawyer.

或者你自己就是一名律師

: 192. You've been in a local hospital more than once.

你進出過當地醫院超過一次

: 193. You only get gastroenteritis when you return home.

你只會在回家後得到腸胃炎 (水土不服)

: 194. You own more travel guides than places you've been to.

你有的旅遊指南比你去過的地方更多

: 195. You have a favorite pair of flip-flops.

你有自己偏愛的拖鞋

: 196. You think the best gifts are practical.

你覺得最好的禮物是有實用性的

: 197. You think the best gift is money.

你覺得最好的禮物是錢

(真現實...)

: 198. You laugh when people say the word "illegal"

當聽到人們說「這不合法」時你一笑置之

: 199. You are attracted to the parents of your students.

你被你學生的家長吸引

(喂喂!)

: 200. You think a half-hour car ride is an excruciatingly long time

你覺得坐半小時的車是非常非常久

: 201. You haven't learned a new word of Chinese in years.

你已經幾年沒學到中文新字了

: 202. You've bought the same thing a dozen times ... and will buy a new one when this one breaks.

你會一再的買同一件東西...而且當它壞掉時你還會再買一次

: 203. You get all weepy when you hear Christmas music.

當你聽到聖誕節音樂時你會想哭

: 204. You have more money in your pocket right now than you've ever had back home.

你的口袋裡有比你還在你的家鄉時更多的錢

(台灣錢淹腳目?!)

: 205. You spent more money today than you ever did back home.

而你花的錢也比你還在你的家鄉時更多

: 206. There's at least one room in your house you seldom use.

你的房子裡至少有一間房間你很少使用

: 207. The pages of your Chinese phonebooks are yellow.

你的中文電話簿是黃色的

: 208. The Lonely Planet guide of Taiwan is so shallow.

你覺得那些介紹台灣的出版物講的都太膚淺了

: 209. You're amazed at how low-tech everything is back home.

你會對你的家鄉如此科技落後感到驚訝

: 210. You have a giant wedding photo on your wall

你的牆上有一張大張的結婚照

: 211. You've *had* a giant wedding photo on your wall.

你的牆上曾經有一張大張的結婚照

(曾經...這代表...)

: 212. You own something cute.

你有某些”可愛”的東西

: 213. You bake in a toaster oven.

你在微波爐裡烤東西

: 214. You drink the water.

你喝這邊的水

: 215. You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.

你能在幾秒內用嘴巴剔除雞肉內的小骨頭

: 216. You can shell shrimp in your mouth within seconds.

你能在幾秒內把嘴裡蝦子的外殼剝掉

: 217. You speak English in hotels to get better service.

在飯店時你會說英文，以取得更好的服務

: 218. You're always the one who hold the door open button so others can get on.

你永遠是電梯裡那個按著開門鈕讓大家進來的人

: 219. Under no circumstances would you ever give up your seat.

不管怎麼樣你都絕不會讓出你的座位

: 220. You cut off gravel trucks and those blue Varica trucks.

你會去超那些砂石車和小貨車的車

: 221. You practice s-curves on the freeway at 120.

你在高速公路以120公里的時速練習S型開車

: 222. You answer either/or questions with yes.

你回答either/or問題(兩個你要選哪一個) 是用yes

: 223. You watch those late-night girls in bikini shows.

你在泳裝表演裡看著那些陪酒美女

: 224. You cover your mouth when you pick your teeth.

你在剔牙時會遮住嘴

: 225. You know what DM, POP, AE, XO, WC, and AV stand for or mean.

你知道DM, POP, AE, XO, WC, 和AV是什麼意思

(六個各位知道幾個?)

: 226. You golf.

你打高爾夫球

: 227. All your air tickets are round trip.

你的機票都是來回票

: 228. You pay close attention to traffic reports.

你會特別注意交通報導

: 229. You've been on television.

你上過電視

: 230. You have a stuffed animal in your car.

你車裡有一個填充動物玩偶/吊飾

: 231. You've been through several cell phones, computers, and business cards.

你前前後後有過幾隻手機, 幾台電腦和不少名片

: 232. Over half of your software is pirated.

你電腦裡超過半數的軟體是盜版的

(喂這太超過了啦)

: 233. You call your wife on your cell phone just to let her know you really are out with the guys.

你打手機給太太只是要讓她知道你的確和這些人出去了

: 234. You make up a really good excuse otherwise.

不然的話你會找個很好很好的理由

: 235. You forget to leave tips when back home.

回家鄉後你總是忘了給小費

: 236. You don't buy anything unless you can get a discount.

你不在沒打折時買東西

: 237. You accept business cards with both hands, and inspect both sides without reading them.

你用雙手接名片，並且會檢查兩面，但不讀它

: 238. You're afraid of dogs.

你怕狗

: 239. Bread is thick, mushy, and sweet as hell.

麵包應該是厚厚的，軟軟的，而且甜死人不償命

: 240. You've tasted things that are too sweet.

你吃過你覺得太甜的東西

: 241. You move to be within walking distance of the MRT.

你會搬到離捷運站走路很近的地方

: 242. You move to be within driving distance of the freeway.

或是搬到離高速公路開車很近的地方

: 243. You've picked up a few words of Japanese from TV.

你從電視上學了幾個日文字

: 244. You carry an umbrella with you for much of the year.

一年中大多數時間你會帶傘

: 245. You dust-mop your floor.

你清地板是用灰塵清潔拖把拖地

: 246. You try to tell people back about Taiwan, and are angry when they look bored.

你試著告訴你的朋友有關台灣，然後為他們感到無聊很生氣

: 247. You have nothing to say to people back home.

你和家鄉的人沒什麼話題可以聊

: 248. You smile when you're embarrassed or angry.

當你尷尬或生氣時你還是會強顏歡笑



249. When you start to think that a $5 dollar dinner is too expensive

當你覺得 $5 美元的晚餐很貴



250. When you stick toilet paper in your pocket before you go out- just in case

當你出門時會自己帶衛生紙以防萬一上廁所需要



251. When you are not surprised to find footprints on toilets seats

當你在馬桶墊上發現腳印是不覺得奇怪



252. The footprints on the toilet seat are yours!!

馬桶墊上的腳印是你的!!



253. When you no longer bother with the past tense when speaking English.

當你說英文時不再去想過去式現在式這種問題

254. When you've visited every county in Taiwan including the offshore islands.

當你去過台灣所有縣市 包刮那些海外的



(我都還沒有….= =|||)

255. When you prefer betel nut to coffee as a start-me-up.

當你覺得檳榔比咖啡更提神



256. When you have a large collection of Hello Kitty and Snoopy toys (and you think they're cute).

當你有一整個系列的SNOOPY 和 HELLO KITTY 玩偶 然後你覺得他們很可愛

257. When the noise the garbage truck makes doesn't remind you of ice cream anymore.

當垃圾車的音樂不再讓你想到冰淇淋車



258. When you drive with your jacket on backwards

當你騎機車時將外套反穿



259. When you never bought a microwave, but if someone asks you if you have one you say yes, that is, I use the one across the street at 7-11.

其實你沒有微波爐 但別人問起時你說你有, 你用對面巷口7-11的微波爐



(撲….我第一次聽到有朋友跟我這樣說也愣住)

260. When you've actually worn your plastic bathroom slippers out for a quick food run in the morning.

當你曾穿著你的塑膠廁所用拖鞋 在早上出去買早餐



261. When you are not afraid of cockroaches anymore, just the ones that flys

當你不再害怕小強 除了那些會飛的以外

[From When you've been in Taiwan too long. @ 草莓起司蛋糕冰淇淋 :: 痞客邦 PIXNET ::]